So I’m officially a quarter of a century old today. I’m so glad that God has blessed me with all he has in such a short amount of time. Most of my old friends are still single and doing the “party” thing and I’m lucky enough to be in a wonderful marriage with an amazing husband and have two beautiful children with a third on the way…wow. Sometimes it is just mindboggling to me to see how my life has turned out, God has surly shown me favor when I did not deserve it. I’m so incredibly blessed that sometimes I find it hard to wrap my head around it. I hope that throughout this next year I can continue to put my faith in God and be a spiritual inspiration to those around me. Jim is a fantastic spiritual leader for our family but I know that without me stepping up and helping him to be the best he can be I will never be the best I can be and its important for our children to SEE God working through us, not just hear us talk about it. You can do all the talking in the world but without actions to back it up, its just words. I pray that my actions will be so profound that they won’t need to be backed up with words but will speak to those around me in such a profound way that people will KNOW my beliefs without me having to share them. Don’t get me wrong, I still want (and plan) to minister to those around me but I want my actions to do the real talking.
On another note, today is the day we are burying my great Uncle “PeeWee” (my grandmother’s brother). He passed away on my cousin Lauren’s birthday and will be buried on mine. It seems ironic in a sense, my cousin Lauren passed away shortly after her 8th (my 9th) birthday, she was my best friend and ever since then her birthday has been a particularly hard day for me (and others in our family). Lauren and I were so close, she was like my best friend, like a sister…at such a young age it was my first “real” encounter with death and it has always effected me in a way that is hard to explain. At 25 I have YET to make it through a year without crying for at least an hour on her birthday and I STILL haven’t had the strength to visit her grave. The fact that Uncle PeeWee passed on her birthday surely didn’t make the day any easier this year, nor did the pregnancy hormones. Now burying him on my birthday just feels…for lack of a better word…meaningful, idk, weird, ironic….something. Anyways, Jim thinks I’m crazy for taking the boys with me to a funeral at age two and a half but I think that everyone in Missouri will enjoy getting to see them and if nothing else they will help to provide a mild distraction from what is sure to be a difficult day. Jim doesn’t understand but I feel like I NEED them to be there with me, I told him he didn’t have to come but he said he was going to come if the boys were coming. He doesn’t seem to excited about it, not that I can blame him, I’m not too excited about taking toddlers to a funeral either but it could be their only chance to see Grandma and Grandpa while they are this close and I surely wouldn’t miss that for the world. In fact, I can’t say that I would be making the trip with two toddlers at 37 and a half weeks pregnant if it weren’t for the opportunity to see my grandparents. I miss them desperately and any opportunity I have to see them I’ll take, even if its under not so good circumstances. It will be kind of strange to see everyone else in Missouri, I don’t think I’ve been up there since my early years of high school…and even then it was only randomly for weddings or what not. Jim’s worried about not knowing anyone but its okay because I don’t really know anyone either. Well enough rambling, its time to get on with the day. Maybe it won’t be so bad. ::crosses fingers::
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